Journey Of Trusting God

If you are just like me who also undergoes the process of testing, let this be our encouragement: that this season will not last long and will surely come to pass, and that our God will reward us after this – with favors and graces that are more than what we ever asked or deserved. His grace alone indeed!. But until then, let’s faithfully endure until the end.
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Read the Matthew 15:21-28

Let me share a short background about myself and the season I've been undergoing recently. I am an accountant and I work as a Tax Analyst for my current employer in more than 2 years now. Ever since the pandemic, I have been in a roller coaster ride in my spiritual journey. As our nation's quarantine season started, I was anxious, worried, and afraid. But then I have learned to humble myself down to God, repent and trust Him, and claim His peace, protection, and healing for our land. Upon trusting Him, I felt joy and peace knowing that everything is under His control and His grace is very much abundant during these trying times.

However, a few months later while our country’s condition has not become better, this trip has become an endless journey in the wilderness for me. In the past few months, I  once again started being afraid and anxious about everything. I felt my soul and spirit starting to be worn out and weary. I found myself feeling lonely and unhappy in my place right now, including in the place where I live. I found myself very lonely and desperately craving to go back home to my province because of homesickness. Eventually, I started hating my job and my boss, blaming them for burning me out and taking my joy out of me. 

So this time, I will be sharing with you a story not having a happy ending YET. More than that, it's a journey of trusting GOD and finding joy in Him while in the process of testing. 

Let’s open our Bibles to Matthew 15 verses 21-28: “The Faith of the Canaanite Woman.”

As we can observe in this passage, Jesus seemingly let the Canaanite woman feel rejected four times before satisfying her request. Surely, God did not intend to reject nor push her away… but, He wanted to test her faith. Jesus knew deep inside the woman’s heart that she had great faith, so, He wanted to show it to her and to all the people who witnessed the scene (whether firsthand or through studying this passage). This is also to help us realize that God’s “no” or “not yet” does not mean His rejection of us. But instead, He is testing our faith so that once we pass the test, He can magnificently reward us. 

Through these passages, I am reminded that I should be like the Canaanite woman. She humbled herself before Jesus. She had a persistent faith which made her not give up on Him. She HOPED in Him and believed that He is the answer to her deepest desire and need. 

So I realized that in this process and season where I am receiving God’s “no’s” and “not yet’s”, He is not rejecting me nor condemning me for my sins. He's not making me feel unloved, but He wants to test my faith so I can be a better woman after His own heart. He is teaching me to abide in Him even when things do not go my way, so I would keep seeking Him and learn to fully trust Him even when I don’t understand. He wants me to obey Him and to be patient in this waiting and refining time, and so to find my joy and hope in Him even during the lonely process.  

So if you are just like me who also undergoes the process of testing, let this be our encouragement: that this season will not last long and will surely come to pass, and that our God will reward us after this – with favors and graces that are more than what we ever asked or deserved. His grace alone indeed!. But until then, let’s faithfully endure until the end. Let’s seek to be congratulated by Jesus after all this; saying, “Son/Daughter, you have great faith! Your request is granted.”

Praise Jesus! All glory to His Name! 😊












Photo by: Jaime Legaspino